Safety. Respect Ourselves, Respect Others!

The following information on safer sexuality and self-protection is taken directly from the website of The Motherhouse of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in San Francisco (please go to Outreach : Links to access that site). It is reproduced here, rather than linked, in the hopes that you will be more likely to read it, 'kay?

Yes, we love humor on our site as much as the next costume connoisseur, but we just didn't feel this was the place.

Mother Superior's Tips
An Overview of STD's
Guilt
The Top Ten Ways Clever Drag Queens Stay Alive
The Top Ten Ways Clever Sluts 'N Ho's Stay Alive

The safest sex you can have is still the sex you have with yourself. However, we realize that there may be times when you'd like to play with others. When you're informed about the issues and taking care of your self and your partner(s), the experience can be fun and enjoyable for years to come. Self-Care and a festive attitude are the keys to a healthy and fun sex life.

Play Fair, Be Queer, Practice Self-Care.

Mother Superior's Instructions and Tips for Self Care

Play Fair: If you know, or even suspect that you have an STD, don't put other people at risk. And make sure you do what you can to protect yourself. Self-Care and a festive attitude are the keys to a healthy and fun sex life.

Soap & Water: Wash your fruit before you eat it. Cleaning up afterwards or between partners is a good idea too. Remember, cleanliness is next to... well, you know...

The After Sex Piss: Pee as soon as you can after having sex, the sooner the better.

The Old Douche: Stop douching. It spreads all those little bugs and infections you may have going on further inside you turning it into a BIG bug or infection.

Lubricants: Buy water-based lube. Oil-based lubes break down the surface of condoms, reducing their effectiveness. Remember that there is no such thing as too much lube. Be wary of chemicals and fragrances, MSG, hot sauce and the like. These can irritate sensitive tissues around your ass, pussy, cock or mouth. Experiment with lubes to find one that works for you.

Cock Rings: Take off your ring when you are not using it. It can cut off the circulation to the family jewels causing them to swell and ache. Big jewels are nice, but not in this case. Not to mention the fact that these things can set off metal detectors...

Condoms/Barriers: Condoms and other barriers prevent the spread of some diseases, especially the nasty ones. A good rule of thumb is no fucking without a condom and no licking without a barrier. Plastic wrap is a cheap and inexpensive alternative to dental dams and other costly barriers. Just don't use the microwaveable kind; it has little holes that can allow all sorts of things to get through.)

Nonoxynol-9: Avoid condoms and lube that contain Nonoxynol-9. Although it is good at killing sperm, it can irritate cocks, pussies and asses and it has shown to have little or no effect in preventing the transmission of HIV or other STDs.

Rimming: Sigh. This is a risky sexual behavior. It's fun, it feels good and is oh so festive, but very risky. Even the cleanest looking, most desirable ass can have shit full of bacteria and germs. Your tongue in an asshole can slurp up just enough specks of infected shit to make you very sorry later. If you must rim do it with a barrier of some sort. An unlubed condom cut in half or a little plastic wrap goes a long way to keep things from spreading.

Piercings: Keep 'em clean. Let the holes heal before you play with them and, if they start getting irritated, stop playing with them. For the best information check your local professional piercer.

Alcohol/Drugs: We are not ones to discourage a good healthy drink once in awhile. Just be aware that when you are intoxicated or high you sometimes forget to take care of yourself. It is wise to not mix sex and drugs or alcohol: you could wake up with more than just a coyote date.

Nutrition/Vitamins: We all benefit from a good supper. To make sure it is not your Last Supper, eat healthy and take your vitamins. Good nutrition can repair a ton of sins.

Poppers: Clinical reports and doctors agree: poppers are dangerous to your health. They are even more dangerous when used with Viagra.

Observation: Look before you lick. Check out your partners before you lay hands on them. Feeling someone up and scoping them out takes on new meanings when you are caring for yourself. Some Sisters carry little flashlights for those dark and mysterious encounters. Trust your instincts. If you get a sense it isn't safe or that something is amiss, it probably is. Instincts are seldom wrong.

VD Testing: If you suspect you or one of your partners might have a bug or two (or more), it is good to get tested. Since most of these diseases can be contracted without any symptoms, every sexually active person should get tested regularly for all STDs. A good guideline is every three months for most STDs and every six months for HIV.

An Overview of STDs

STD stands for "Sexually Transmitted Disease". These are all infections caused by bacteria, viruses, parasites or attitudes that can be passed from person to person in the course of getting off. For the STDs listed below, we've listed where the symptoms appear, what they are, how you can catch the STD, what happens if you don't treat them and how to get rid of them. If your symptoms are not here, it doesn't mean that you are not suffering. People don't always have symptoms. Be seen at a clinic regularly to get checked out. Self-Care is always the best solution.

Chlamydia

Penis: Discharge from the penis; it burns when peeing; burning or itching around the penis hole; swollen balls.
Vagina: Discharge or a burning sensation while peeing; lower abdominal pain, low back pain, nausea, fever, pain during intercourse, and bleeding between menstrual periods.
Symptoms: Most of the time there are no symptoms; they usually show up within one to three weeks if they do appear.
Exposure: Unprotected sucking or fucking
Untreated: Urethral infection; women can contract pelvic inflammatory disease which causes permanent damage to the fallopian tubes, uterus and tissues surrounding the ovaries. This damage can lead to chronic pelvic pain, infertility and potentially fatal pregnancy.
Cure: Antibiotics

Crabs

Penis or Vagina: Insane itching in hairy body areas, tiny red spots in underwear; occasionally you can see the insects.
Appear: When eggs hatch in 7 to 21 days or sooner if you have a live crab.
Exposure: Through body contact or contact with infected linen or clothing.
Untreated: Crabs grow as large as human beings and are listed as dependents on tax returns.
Cure: Kwell lotion, RID or other lotions. Wash all clothes and linens.

Gonorrhea

Penis: White, green or yellow discharge that burns or hurts while peeing.
Ass: Too often there are no symptoms; itchy painful asshole, more gas than usual, white coating on shit; "feels funny down there."
Throat: Too often there are no symptoms; mild to moderate sore throat, swollen glands in the throat.
Vagina: Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix: the thing you bump at the top of the vagina and what they look at for pap smears), usually a thick yellow discharge. Some vaginas just have burning and peeing a lot.
Symptoms: Appear five hours to five days after contact; it can take up to 30 days for symptoms to appear.
Exposure: Through unprotected sucking or fucking.
Untreated: Sometimes vaginas develop pelvic inflammatory disease, PID (infection of the tubes). This can cause abnormal periods or low bellyache and tenderness; sometimes it causes a perihepatitis and right upper quadrant pain. Infected prostate or balls, tender achy joints, fever.
Cure: Antibiotics

Hepatitis A, B, & C

Penis or Vagina: Feeling run down, jaundice, nausea, vomiting, mild aches or pain in the belly, dark urine, light colored shit.
Appear: Three weeks or longer
Exposure: Through cum, shit, piss and other fluids.
Untreated: Severe liver damage, death.
Cure: Change in diet, lots of rest; some medications are available.

Herpes Simplex

Penis: Painful sores or blisters on or around the cock, ass, groin or mouth; tingling, burning sensation prior to appearance of painful sores, sometimes accompanied by low grade fever.
Vagina: Blisters inside and around the outside of the vagina; may cause a vaginal discharge, swollen nodes in the groin, malaise and fevers. Can cause problems during pregnancy and be deadly to newborns.
Symptoms: Appear four to fourteen days after contact. Sores go away and return occasionally.
Exposure: Contact with fluid from open sore; even a kiss can expose you.
Cure: No cure, but the sores can be treated with Lysine or Acyclovir.

HIV

Penis or Vagina: Initial exposure feels like a moderate to severe flu. You can be exposed for years and show no symptoms
Appear: Six weeks to six months after exposure
Exposure: Body fluid contact, e.g. blood to blood, semen to blood.
Cure: There is no cure for the HIV infection, but there are lots of medications available for treatment.

Intestinal Parasites

Penis or Vagina: Cramps, gas, gas pain, changes in shitting pattern (more often, diarrhea) feeling run down for no reason, white coating on turds.
Appear: Three days to several weeks after exposure.
Exposure: Rimming someone infected or sucking the dick of someone that just fucked an infected person.
Untreated: Possible liver infection.
Cure: Horrible medications from your doctor.

Non-Specific Uretheritis

Penis or Vagina: Burns or hurts to pee; clear or white drip, usually more evident in the morning, can disappear during the day.
Symptoms: Appear between five and twenty days.
Exposure: Through sucking and fucking.
Untreated: Infections of balls or prostate.
Cure: Antibiotics

Guilt

This is the deadliest of STDs. It hides in the deepest, darkest places in our hearts and minds. We often don't even know we have it.
Symptoms: Feeling bad after a trip to the bars, baths, bushes, and tearooms, waking in someone else's bed or watching porn. Low self-esteem, excessive drug use, being mean and/or judgmental to friends, family, co-workers or total strangers.
Symptoms Appear: From two to three years of age and in many cases persist throughout life. If Untreated: Can result in loss of ability to be happy; loss of spontaneity; large therapy bills, loss of love; Random Acts of Meanness; impotence; sexual dysfunction; excessive drug use; epidemics of sexually transmitted diseases.
How You Get It: Someone Else's Family Values; Catholic, Jewish, Mormon or Muslim schools; three or more hours of TV a day; America Online; letting someone else decide what is good for you; politicians.
Cure: Respect and love yourself; Random Acts of Kindness; your own family values; a good giggle; lighten up.

Play Fair * Be Queer * Self Care

Credits:

Original Artwork: Jim Jeske
Story: Sister Dana van Iquity (aka Dennis McMillan)
Play Fair Committee: Sister MaryMae Himm, Stephan Thorne, Dr. Virginia Cafaro, Michiko Bailey, and Sister Saki Tumi

Many thanks to the creators of the original version of "Play Fair!" who gave us so much great material to work with.